…extracted a gum wrapper from a toddler’s nostril, but sought medical treatment when it came to a piece of a colored pencil lodged deeply into an ear canal.
…punished a child because he wouldn’t stop taunting his brother with a Peter Frampton album.
…played a rousing game of “What that’s funky smell?” only to discover what might be a petrifying bologna sandwich behind the recliner.
…needed a prescription for a tranquilizer when your firstborn started driving.
…spent any amount of time trying to describe why a Sleestack scared you, why you wanted to marry the Fonz, and who Mork from Ork was.
…installed a security system to keep a three-year old from going on the lam with his beagle, and pondered if it were possible that both of your children were reincarnates of Harry Houdini.
…wondered how a child who once emitted the sweet scent of newborn now puts off an odor that could make a skunk feel inadequate.
…ever rambled incoherently, “These kids are going to drive me to drinking,” or something about a frontal lobotomy.
If you nodded like a bobblehead, chances are you’re a parent - or you’ve got some really strange hobbies. A Little Off-Kelter…the parenting years is a collection of forty columns that originally ran in print. (Hey, the compilation thing worked for Ronco and K-tel, didn’t it?) Whether the kids are underfoot or have flown the nest, moms and dads alike will relate to these humorous tales of woe and wonderment.
http://www.amazon.com/Little-Off-Kelter-parenting-years-ebook/dp/B00E9EFIWI/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1375359164&sr=1-1
It's available on Kindle. If you don't have a Kindle, there's a Kindle app that works with most readers, android, and Apple products. http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html/ref=dig_arl_box?ie=UTF8&docId=1000493771
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